Hear The Life

17 November - Mom's Day

2010-11-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

It's the time of the year again. Happy Birthday to myself! :)

This day belongs to me not, to be frank.

This day belongs to my mom who suffered through hours of pain and months of hardship to bring me to this world 23 years ago. This day belongs to my mom who always believe in me, love me, care for me, be there for me and share my life to this very day and for the many years and decades to come.

This day, I would like to dedicate it to my mother. For without you, I won't be here today. :) Thanks Mom. I love you.

Final Resort

2010-11-15T00:43:00.000-08:00

And here I thought that any solution to any problem in the world doesn't need to involve money.

I was wrong.

When all the alternatives had been used and you couldn't find any other solution, sometimes $ is the solution.

I hate to say this and I know it's against my principles, but there are times when you can't deny the fact that $ is the final resort.

I'm sorry. This mistake could be avoided if I had seen to it earlier. It's my fault.

Please let this solution runs through without bumps. I need to clear this through before I leave.

Writing A Book!

2010-06-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, Nicholas (one of my friends who is freaking hilarious and probably one of the best boyfriend you can find around) recommended me to write a book about the life of a Malaysian through our eyes. I was quite astounded by that idea but excited at the same time.

It's nothing special really, I thought, as the thought of writing a book came as a frequent bump to me from time to time. But this time around, it feels so 'real' somehow. Probably because someone is actually asking me to start it up.

So the idea was to write about the story of two Malaysians growing up in two different places; the city and the kampung respectively. It's quite an interesting idea really. I even have quite a number of ideas popping out after he laid the theme to me.

So for you out there who might bump on my post, what do you think? Perhaps we could share some idea here? =)

Recovery VS Damage

2010-05-11T05:23:00.000-07:00

Damaging the Earth versus Restoring the Earth. Which of those two are being done faster compared to the other? I don't have the answer, but I do have some thought on this.

As we all can see, the current rise in the temperature lately had tempted us to indulge in the comfort of air conditioner; most of which are not environmental friendly. So the hypothesis here is, the more hot the weather turns, the more time we will spend under the air conditioned space, and hence the more damage be done to the Earth. Correct me if I am wrong.

How much effort is being taken to REALLY help to offset the effect of global warming and green house gasses? Are the efforts taken to SAVE the Earth on equal par with the actions taken to DAMAGE the Earth, unconsciously? Well I don't have the clear answer, as I implied earlier.

We shall see the story and answer in the coming days.

SAVE THE EARTH.

Angels Cry - Mariah Carey ft. Ne-Yo

2010-05-11T03:27:00.001-07:00

At the meantime, I would love to share this piece of music with everyone.

Angels Cry by Mariah Carey and Ne-Yo. One of the best duets around. Ballad-Pop at one of its best. Ne-Yo made such fantastic musics; I wonder how did I even miss him out?

Ne-Yo, I really hope to attend one of your concerts, SOMEDAY. I definitely will.

Ne-Yo rocks! You are the GENTLEMAN of the music industry! =D

The Coming Future... Dilemma

2010-05-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

Finally! Planning for future! I'm in such a dilemma. Can't even start to think of how to carve my road ahead. It looks so foggy. So much dreams to achieve, but nowhere to start them off. What should I do?

Struggle

2009-11-23T21:42:00.000-08:00

People struggle everyday with works, assignments, love, life, family and so much that the list goes on and on.

I'm always wondering, when can man starts to struggle less and eventually appreciate every moment of life that passes through them everyday, even for a single minute?

Not gonna happen any soon, from what you can see around you. You can see people struggling hard to achieve a better life for tomorrow, but when will the 'tomorrow' comes?

Man will never be satisfied with what they have. Or they will have. To man, there is no end. The end is just the beginning of another battle ahead which might lasts for months, years or who knows how long it will be.

When can people starts to look around them and notice for a single minute, the essence of life that are being sucked out from them?

Not gonna happen any soon from what you can see. People might say, man should never be contented with what they have. Yes they are right. We should never be contented with what we have.

But think again, if we are never contented with what we have, or at least cherish what we have, when are we gonna start living the life as how we want it to be?

Sleep, wake up, work, back from work and sleep again? Is this life?

I don't think so.

Mama

2009-10-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

It's really sad how people nowadays are dumping their parents at the old folks' home faster than they are dumping their girlfriends/boyfriends or friends.

Do you remember the time when your mom hold you within her warm arms and embraced you from all the harm that exists in the world?

Most people don't now. At least this is what I think.

It breaks my heart whenever I see an old woman walking by the side of the road collecting garbage, or an old woman sitting by the corner at the old folks' home, thinking about their son and how they are doing right now.

Could the children be any cruel than this? I know you might be busy with all the works and everything, but what is wrong by taking care of your mother? When your mother don't even complain when she took care of you when you were small?

Where did humanity lies today in the society? No where better than a garbage dump.

Think of your parents people. Think.

Few Facts for the Body

2009-10-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

Few facts that I had just discovered for the body. Just to share few with the world.

1. Excessive consumption of sugar can lead to neurological damage, particularly the brain.

2. Sleeping late and waking up late are the main symptoms that lead to long term liver failure.

3. Lack of stimulating or positive thoughts can lead to neurological damages as well. Start to think positively people.

4. Doughnuts and french fries are in the top 5 list of cancerous foods. OH MY GOD.

5. Skipping breakfasts (note this on) will cause you to damage your liver as well as your brain. Don't miss out what is/are on the table.

Share this facts with your family and friends. Life is fragile.

Silence Prayer

2009-09-20T22:38:00.000-07:00

21st September 2009, the world had witnessed yet another death of a talented personality who in his lifetime, brought much joy and laughter into the life of those who had read and enjoyed his artworks.

This death adds to the list of the already-deceased talented personalities which happened in the year of 2009. Michael Jackson, one of my all-time favorite celebrity, yet father figure; was one of them. And the latest death mentioned above, Yoshito Usui, who created the character Shin Chan, brought another heavy blow to those whom he had touched their hearts in his lifetime before.

I would like to offer a silent prayer to them; the 'them' who had brought much color and joy into the life of mine and the rest of the world.

May you rest in peace of the graceful hands of the God. God Bless.

Incidents...

2009-05-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

I know my parents are trying hard to hide something from us...

I know what is going in right now in the family...

I know my dad and mum are trying to keep things small...

But I can see and feel it...

Something is wrong in the family... I know something is wrong with my cousin's family, even though mom and dad are not telling me about it...

I really wish to know what happened, but I don't dare to ask my cousin. As I know he is going through a hard time. Same goes to my younger cousin as well as aunt.

Sigh. I really don't know how I can be of help. Sigh.

Given a chance, I would love to land a punch or a blow into someone who is responsible for every mishap that happened to the family.

Sigh. Now I can only pray to God to bless the family and the road ahead of them. Please bless them with the will, spirit, energy and motivation to walk the road ahead of them. And I hope each and every of the family member will lend them a helping hand as soon as they can.

Forget about all the grudges and whatever that had happened. The future is what matters to them now. Please... Help them as much as you can.

I pray to you... You who has the greatest power of all... Bless them I plead to you...

Discoveries back at Home, Part 1

2009-04-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it my younger brother of 14 years old is having his own blog right now, up and running live!

Oh my... young kids these days... =D

Though I can't really understand what are written there (it's in Mandarin)...

My oh my... How I wish I know what is/are in his mind now...

HOPE

2009-03-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I came up with a new idea.

An idea I myself called the HOPE Project.

What is HOPE?

Well it could be three things:

Honoring Our Presence Everyday
Honoring Our Parents Everyday
Honoring Our Present Existence

I am still molding and shaping the core concept for HOPE Project.

And I hope it will be soon before I can create the core for HOPE.

At the meantime, let's clear off my remaining assignments. Haha.

New Morning

2009-03-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

When the sun rose this morning, I know a new day has come.

This morning had been so unusual to me. This morning had been so queer to me. But yet, this morning had been so special to me.

Because this morning, I woke up with a purpose.

Why had it been so unusual, queer yet special to wake up with a purpose?

Because I believe, many of us out there wake up every morning with no purpose and to us, 'Nay, it's just another day'.

I used to believe it that way, but no more for today onwards.

I made an oath to myself, that every morning, I will wake up with a purpose to the world.

Everyday I have in this world, I want to do something for the world.

No matter how insignificant it might be, I will do something, for the world, the community and the people.

Just for a short recap of my history, I faced death face to face for three times since I was born. Three times. And each time, God gave me a new chance, a new breath and a new hope to live one more day.

And here I am now. Thanks to God and the people around me.

So I was wondering... God had given me three chances to escape death and reborn.

But what had I done with the chances given to me?

Nothing I could be proud of. Nothing.

But now, this very special morning, I know there is something that I can do in this life. I know God gave me three chances to live again because He believe that I can do something and I will do something to the world, the community and the people. He gave me three new breaths because He believes in me.

And so goes to the others whom God had touched with His graceful hand and given his breath of life. He who dwells beyond the clouds and heaven believe and had faith in each and every of His creation: His sons and daughters.

Yet many people did not think of that way. A short quote from the President of the United States from the movie National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets, "People don't think that way anymore".

Although it was meant for something else, this statement stands true for most of the culture and reality we're living in today. People don't think that way anymore. The world is just a place to spend the rest of our life in. Every new day we have is just another usual day for us.

It is not that way people. Not that way.

Every day to me now, is that unusual, queer yet special day. Every second now counts to me. Every minute now counts to me. Every hour now counts to me. And I am set to do something in this world, just like how He had entrusted His faith upon the many of us here.

And today, I will walk the journey of my life. A life created by my own hands. I will create my own destiny and shape my own fate. I will create my life.

And from today, this journey will be my story. And it begins...

~Every night when you go to bed, you die. And every morning when you wake up, you are reborn~ Mahatma Gandhi

Hear Morrie

2009-03-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

I'm so late. Yes I know I am so late. This book was published way back 12 years ago, and I just managed to lay my hand on it.

But hey, nothing is too late according to Morrie, right?

Anyway this is the book I am reading right now.

Yes, its Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom.

This book is one of those which will alter your perception upon life once and for all. And perhaps to me, it is the best of those currently inhibiting the shelves in the bookstores all around the world.

For those who has not lay your hand on it, or perhaps no chance to lay your hand on it yet, do so as soon as you can. You won't regret paying for it (although I got mine from the library =P).

To Morrie who is resting in peace beyond the clouds of heaven,

Your life has inspired the life of many of us here on the face of the Earth. Your words will not be forgotten as long as mankind exists. To Morrie, with all the love from us whom you had inspired.

Thank You and God Bless. May you be blessed with boundless love beyond the land where happiness and love know no end and may you bless the many of us with your joy and wisdom.

Thank You Morrie.

(A tribute to Morrie Schwartz, for his words and lessons of wisdom, to Mitch Albom for his devoutness to bring this book to life, to Ted Keppel for sharing with the rest of the world the encounter with one of the most life-altering person on Earth and to Doubleday, for the faith in Morrie and Mitch to produce this book to the many of us)

~The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in~ Morrie Schwartz

Seductive and Sexy

2009-03-05T03:06:00.000-08:00

Recently I came across an item, so sexy, so seductive, I just can't keep my eyes off it.

Wondering what it is??

Here you go!

Yes!! The Nokia E63!!!!

This E63 is another one of those E-Series family; however, this small kid packs more than what it seems to be; and one reason for you not to miss it: the price is just unbelievable for its features.

A generation after the Nokia E71, it comes with almost everything the E71 has to offer; however, its missing some of the key features from its brother.

Nokia E63 comes with a 2.0 megapixel internal camera, much less compared to its E71 counterpart which comes with a 3.2 megapixel internal camera. Besides that, E63 lacks of the GPS, high speed downlink packet access (HSDPA) as well as the video call functions; which its sibling E71 has to offer.

A better comparison between both phones can be accessed via this link:
http://drrobevans.com/2008/11/12/e63-the-hardware-comparing-an-e63-to-an-e71/

The author of that page offers much insight into the comparison of both phones with graphics and images attached as well.

I would strongly recommend this phone to those who crave for a phone packed with features, its sleek and business-like design as well as a phone which comes with a cheap price tag. And you know what, I am so gonna get it!!!

Here I come E63!!!

Of A New Page

2009-03-04T02:45:00.000-08:00

I had reached a turning point in my life few days back.

A turning point that I believe soon, will twist my life into a brand new story.

I will live a brand new story from tomorrow onwards, and I will take the road not taken by me back then.

I will write a new story for myself. Deplete the previous pages that I had written. Leave everything behind and kick-start a brand new life.

This is my new story. This is The New Page.

Of whale sharks capture

2009-01-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

Captured a whale shark and indirectly murdered it; and they claimed that they had no intention of doing it??

What the hell is wrong with these people??

And only a warning will be given off for these abominable action??

Screw off the authority and everyone who has power to lay punishment on these people. Shame on you!!

Whale shark is one of the most endangered species in the world today, and yet there are people irresponsible and cruel enough to lay their dirty hand on them. Come on you sea dogs, can't you find anything else to capture?? Where the hell is your brain being placed??

Whale shark had been well known of its playful and harmless nature regardless to the world under the sea or above the sea. They pose no harm to you. Why you want to inflict harm on them in return??

This is real unfair. The whalesharks don't deserve that life. They have the right to live as well. They are as well, the creation of the Holy Father. Who are you people to lay your filthy hand on them???

Screw off these people. Those 'murderers' deserve something worse for what they had done.

What had became of the world and the people in it today?? Killing whale sharks and escaping severe punishment... Killing innocent people in the name of 'politics' and whatsoever shit that is related to it... Leaders of the world.. Where are you and where are your promises before this?? What is your call to the world of today??

Earth is dying.. and the people in it is 'killing' its essence and life...

Of returning home from a hell-ish place

2008-11-22T20:12:00.000-08:00

Exam's over! Time to rejoice!

Finally, another semester had passed behind the mountain. Time really flies.

I'm back at home, doing nothing almost everyday. Except books and musics. Musics and books. LOL.

Nay, not a problem anyway. What matters most is I'm back at my home sweet home! There's no place like home really... Talk about hostel in university... It's like talking about Hell in front of an angel... We have something in common... Hell=University hostel=HORRIBLE. Sigh.

And what more, think about having a horrible roommate. Sigh. Think about my roommate, think about a**hole. That a**hole is going for two girls at the moment. And his objective? To screw them like barbie doll and then just dump them aside. Screw you a**hole.

Well I could not care much about that piece of junk anyway. You know, junks don't deserve to be cared. Sigh.

Think about having another person who cares less about who you are to him when your his subordinate. Well it's a usual case I know. Just a lament about how shit it is to have a pain in the *** leader with you. Ya I know I suck. But hey, look who's talking behind me. Sigh.

Nay, nothing to bother about. Just enjoy the moments at home. Before the time is over and I have to meet two of my nightmares again. At least I hope I will be separated from one once the semester reopens. Sigh.

Of loneliness

2008-09-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

Have you been alone before?

Do you feel the absolute loneliness before?

Have you been in a situation where you feel absolutely alone and empty even though there are people walking and moving around you?

For some who had never been in one before, consider yourself real lucky.

Being alone is the scariest feeling you could ever wish for.

Imagine the world closing in on you.. Imagine the dimension sealing you into a blank space where no one and nothing lives.. Imagine the surrounding around you sink into the dark dimension, and there's nothing you can do to escape from the sinking dimension..

This is loneliness..

They had once said that loneliness is the worst nightmare anyone could ever live in.. I believe in the fact.. Do you?

Well you better do.. There could be nothing else worst than being alone..

How did loneliness exist? Well I have no idea about it..

All I know is, I would never ever want to live again in the dark dimension where nothing and no one resides in..

Escape from loneliness when you have the chance.. You never know how serious the damage that the dark dimension can inflict you with..

Remember.. Never be alone.. You will regret for it if you ever wish to be alone some time in your life.. Believe me..

Loneliness kills..

Of truths and lies

2008-08-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

Truths and lies...

I recently came by very often upon these two terms...

So often that it happened upon me everyday...

And I believe it happened upon everyone just about everyday too...

Who am I to believe in anymore? I don't know... I really don't...

I can't even distinguish between truths and lies... I feel so naive... So vulnerable...

I believe that some people lie for good reasons; reasons that are acceptable and understandable...

But not with others... These are people I would refer as The Shadow...

The Shadow are people who manipulate lies as a weapon or tool to harm one and the people around them for their own sake...

Lies are such a common tool to them that they understand no more of the mercy and guilt before unleashing the attack on someone... Even someone dear to them...

I had recently encountered few of The Shadows, and those are people who I could not believe upon that they are one of those wretched foes... I had been so naive to lay my faith on them, sharing with them thoughts which I never had thought would be revealed to everyone one fine day...

For what The Shadows did it, only they themselves know... I would not care much nor bother much to go any length to discover what is behind their deeds...

What is true, what is not true, what is unsure... These are all questions that I believe everyone would had to face someday... And beware, that someday can just takes place without you knowing it is going to happen on that one fine day...

Truth on the other hand, can be a formidable weapon used by people who I would refer as The Gladiators...

The Gladiators are people who manipulate truth as tools to save themselves, others as well as The Shadows who are still fresh in their deeds...

These Gladiators have no mercy in directing truth to anyone, even themselves (the inner self), regardless of how sharp and cruel the truth can be... Because they believe in the belief that truth is uncovering the darkness with light and leading The Lost People out from the dark maze, no matter how bright the light may be that it will inflicts harm upon The Lost People who are used to the darkness around them...

Then comes the people who stand in none of the light nor the dark... These people live for both light and dark, and they fight for both light and dark... These people are what I refer as The Wanderers...

Because they had wandered so much in their life, they had seen much truths and lies, experienced truths and lies and lived the life of The Shadows and The Gladiators in some point of their life...

These people are people commonly refer as The Wise People, people who can see truths and lies just by a glance into someone's gaze and eyes... People who can identify The Gladiators and The Shadows just through their sharp sights; they are real formidable foes for both The Gladiators and The Shadows...

The Wanderers did both the deeds of The Gladiators and The Shadows; they lie when the time is right and for the sake of someone, and they directs the truth when the time is right and to save someone from delving into the dark hole which turns them into The Lost People...

These people live for one purpose; the peace of mankind. And not many who are still breathing in this world are called The Wanderers anymore, they had turned into what I refer as The Villagers...

These ex-Wanderers (a part of them are ex-Wanderers while others are initially The Villagers) are too tired to walk on the journey ever again, they decided to walk the path of The Villagers, people who don't care much about what happened around them; no more... The Villagers are everywhere around us, they are the people who lived their life for the fact that they understand life is just how it seems to be all day long and all lifelong...

I am one of The Villagers years back, turned into one of The Shadows in my young years, into one of The Gladiators in my later years and currently on the journey to learn the way of The Wanderers... I believe in truths and lies both as formidable weapons for myself and others...

I know where am I heading to now... What about you?

Of the search for something different

2008-08-16T05:46:00.000-07:00

I strongly believe in the point that human exists in this world with a purpose of their own. God doesn't create us to breath in this world for no reason.

There is a point or a destination that each and every of us is working towards to. And whatever it might be, we will be doing just about anything to achieve it.

Different people have different point or destination that they want to head to. The same goes for me.

I am in a search for something different.

Rather vague in its word, but different is a very powerful word.

When we say different, are we defining the difference in the positive or negative away?

Certainly for me, negative difference is out of my picture. But at the same time, positive difference is not the picture I am trying to draw here too.

You see, I am actually confused of what difference I wanted to see in my own self. I am pretty sure most of the people are.

We often might know, or go to great lengths to know what people want, but we hardly or perhaps, rarely stride on the journey to search for what we really want.

From my perspective, this is due to the fact that we're always trying our best to fulfill or please the people around us. But the reality is, we never or hardly try to please ourselves in the sense that we please ourselves by PLEASING ANYONE BUT OURSELVES in our actions.

Is that the true thing that we want to see in ourselves and our life?

In my own believe, it's pretty much far from that. There is a theory that human is capable to judge others and understand others in one or another way, but always fail to judge themselves and understand themselves.

Some of you might not agree, some of you might. I personally believe that theory very much.

Why do I said so? Because I'm living the theory. And I'm trying to release myself from the bind of the theory.

People might see that these theory is not applicable to them because human commonly never admits to statement that undermines their ability and pride. That is why, I am starting to initiate the first step in the search of something different, the difference being the quality of the life I am living in and will be living in.

If you don't understand what you really want, you never really will live life the way you should live it. What does living everyday means to you? Going through the routines as the life goes on?

It is just not right to me. Not living life to the fullest will be the biggest mistake I had ever made and make in this life.

I do understand it's easier to be said than done. But everything needs time. And we do have the time for ourselves. Who doesn't have the time?

People who always complained about not having sufficient time for something or anything are people who failed to capitalize and utilize their time well to live their life. We have 24 hours awarded to us every day. 24 hours is a real deal of time sufficient to do plenty of things. And I mean it, plenty.

Let's just ask everyone this question. It's quite common among everyone, and this is how it sounds : You said that you don't have enough time. Good. If God gives us another 24 hours, will you have enough time?

Yes? Fair enough. After a while, you will come back with the same lament. You don't have enough time.

Alright, if God gives you another 24, which makes up to 72, do you have enough time?

Yes? Fair enough. After some time, you definitely will come back with the same old lament. You don't have enough time.

Do we see the significance of the question and answer stated above? I believe everyone does, and maybe someone did.

I would love to continue writing, but let's give it a break to everyone and myself too, to reflect on what we really want before we continue this journey. When any of us did, it's time for a new beginning and a new chapter in your life will unfold itself before your eyes.

Good luck to everyone.

Of new beginning and distance to go

2008-08-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

Three weeks had passed since I had broke up with Michelle... And so much things had happened since then... Troubles one after another... It seemed like there's no end to it... I thought I was done back then... That I had reached the peak and there is no more to go nor proceed ahead... I thought it was the end...

But I was wrong...

It was far from the end...

Really far away from the end... Just when I thought I had saw the horizon, it was just an illusion created by my tired mind...

I was really tired of everything... I planned to quit my responsibility and everything that I had built so hard for the past two months... I thought there is no point for me to proceed on... Indeed, I had lost my direction back then... I don't even know what was I doing and what is the purpose of my existence in the organization back then...

I was in a dark dimension that no man can understands nor reaches into... I was in the darkest place ever on Earth... I was confronting the demon within me... I was in my own Hell...

The moments back then were terrible... I lost my focus in everything... Everyday when I woke up, I found no reason for me to keep existing here and now... It felt like the end of life had approached me all out of a sudden...

It was terrible... No one can understand the suffer I was in, no one can see the scar that I was being slashed upon, and no one can feel the pain that I went through back then... No one...

I was in the worst moments ever in my 21 years of life on Earth...

The demon dominated me, and as the seconds passed, I was consumed by the darkness and my own demon... I could not do anything but to watch myself as I was consumed into the darkest dimension ever in the world...

However, the light that was left inside of me pursued my injured soul as it was devoured through the seconds and persuaded my soul to return to the place where I belong...

I could not understand at first... Until the moment came all out of a sudden...

It was eventual... It was not a coincidence... I can feel the light of the message that was delivered right into my heart... I decided to adhere the message...

And I am absolutely sure I did the right thing... I returned to the place where I belong... My hometown.

Memories and thoughts embraced my heart like a flowing river that embraces the rocks emerging from its route...

Everything came back to their senses and I saw the light consuming the darkness within me once again. It was so mythical and enchanting. I felt so alive and revived.

Unexpectedly, the mist that hid The Road for years had finally subsided and as the seconds passed by, The Road became much more visible than ever before...

I had found the distance to go to the place where I belong to...

I had found the distance to go to the land where I belong to...

I had found the distance to go to the peak where I belong to...

I had found... HOPE...

For the past two days, I had been focusing my energy and soul to prepare and embrace myself with everything that I will need along my journey to the place, the land and the peak where I belong to...

And this morning, I had begun my first step ever on The Journey to the place, the land and the peak where I belong to...

It felt so good to be here now and then... I felt so comfortable and peaceful in the heart each seconds passed as I strode The Road... I felt so belonged to The Road and The Journey...

And I won't give up ever again... Everything is here now with me and around me... I won't deflect the hope and the new breath that was given to me ever again...

From this moment onwards...

I will go the distance to where I belong...

Of jungle, lectures and assigments

2008-07-02T05:45:00.000-07:00

I have one more day, exactly, one more day before I have to return to the jungle once again to continue another 4 months of nothing-but-assignments-quizzes-and-exams life.

2 more years to go prior to completing my study here in the Northern University of Malaysia.

Four more semesters ahead for me to run on.

Sigh.

How long could that be. How I would had wished it is going to end soon. I had to admit that I am so getting bored with the lectures and assignments. I hope things will rather be different this round.

This semester will be one of those murdering, mind-boggling, suffering, numb-searing-pain-in-the-ass semester as I will be divulging myself into my course's core papers no sooner than few days to go. I am pretty excited actually, but I am hoping that the lecturers won't do anything of non-interactive or non-communicative lecture to dash my burning spirit away.

And oh please, stop telling cold jokes that won't make anyone laughs but yourself. Just hit us with something more practical and less theoretical, and I will be so thankful to you for the rest of the semester that I will pay full attention in each and every of your classes.

Sigh.

Back to the old room again. Yes, the stuffy and steamy room, with those strong stenches of well...you know... And back again with the same roommate. I was hoping to get a junior to stay with though. Anyway, whatever. 4 months only, it will pass by like nobody's business sooner than I thought.

Talking about 4 months, I only have 13 weeks plus to make up for the loss from my last semester in regards to my pointer. I have to work my ass out for a Dean's List pointer this semester no matter what it takes.

Target: 1st class honors degree.

I can't afford to lose out anymore, this is one of the few last shots I have in hand. Oh my, what a task in hand. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

I'm going to miss my home and my parents so much. Planning to come back to home on the third week. Still thinking, but hope I can make it back. Need to amend my days without pork in there with a nice porky meal. =D

Forget about @. My family is more important than any moment in there. I am so not going to let @ ruins my holiday with my family.

Phew... Better start to pack my things soon. I have to make my room as comfortable as I can for me to live in for the next four months to come... Less than four months actually. =D

Back to university... once again.

Of ending and beginning

2008-06-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

When one thing ends, another begins. When one begins, it will come to an end someday. And when the thing ends, another beginning ensues. This cycle never ends, because when it ends, it practically begins again.

So what is ending and what is beginning?

I once heard a Buddhist monk telling me this before,

'There is no ending and there is no beginning. Nothing ends and nothing begins. Without an ending, there will be no beginning. And without a beginning, there will be no ending. So ending cannot exists without beginning, and vice versa.

Thus young man, in the ancient words of Buddha, there is no ending nor beginning in this world. What begins and what ends don't matter young man. In my words and thoughts, it is the moment that you are living on now and then that matters. What is wrong without ending? What is wrong without beginning? Nothing is wrong.

The day you were borned into this cruel world, you had started a journey without an ending nor a new beginning. Believe me young man, you will see it for yourself. When you believe it had reached the end, look around. Nothing ends in eventual. Everything practically restarts and the journey continues.

So, how could you say it is an ending or a new beginning? Nothing ends and nothing starts!'

I was very confused of what I heard back then, due to the fact that I'm still a young boy with doubtful view towards my life and the world. After been through so much in life for the past 20 years, I finally saw the light that the monk tried to shine me and my mind with. I still don't quite understand the 'no ending and no beginning' part, but I realized something in between those words.

'What begins and what ends don't matter young man'.

I agree with you my wise monk. Sometimes people might be too indulged in the ending of something prior to the beginning of another thing that they didn't realize that they had neglected something which its value is unmeasurable nor unregainable in any other time but that moment itself.

That's right, people don't live through the moments in between an ending and a beginning to the right way. Practically they just go through it as a part of a routine or perhaps, steps in order to reach the ending prior to start a new beginning. So what is the point of having so many endings and so many beginnings in the life when you don't even understand the value of the beginnning and the ending?

It is not the ending nor the beginning that matters to me, but it is the moments between and ending and a beginning that matters most to me, because we learn when we live through the moments. The lessons walking through the story are way much valuable than any ending or beginning in the world to me.

No matter how bad the ending will be, no matter how mysterious the beginning might be, it don't matter. Live through the moments itself, and the moments itself will reveal to you the beauty of the story that you are walking on now and then. And when the beauty reveals, you will realize, this is the truth of life that the world and the creator of the world wanted you to understand and see.

I had been too indulged into an ending and a beginning for the past 20 years, that I had neglected living through the moments all this years. I regret about the truth. I missed so much truths that the world herself was trying to reveal to me. And then I tried to open myself to walk and live through the 'moments'. Believe me, it was beautiful. I saw the first truth that the world tried to deliver to me. And the truths vary between people and human.

What I can say is, start to live the 'moments' between an ending and a beginning, and soon you will see the beautiful truths that the world herself will reveals to you, there in your heart.